Last night, I woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming about having eaten piles of cake, pie, and pastry. Just stuffing my face with it. I went back to sleep and when I awoke in the morning, I felt full. I really started my day feeling like I had completely bungled this entire challenge, within 2 days of starting it.
I think the dream stemmed from the tuna I had last night. It wasn't much (actually about half a serving), and I didn't really feel that bad about it because (1) it wasn't like I had eaten a cow, which in my own mind is not as bad somehow, (2) I'm really doing this for myself - a cleansing, if you will, of mind and soul, and (3) my little distraction was tuna, not a cannoli.
I'm told Oprah had a show today, dedicated to going vegan. I'll try to see if I can access it online. According to mom, Oprah said you shouldn't go completely vegan at once. It has to be a progression, beginning with vegetarianism. I completely get that.
As for cravings today, they weren't as gnawing as usual. I had the usual breakfast of banana and coffee with almond milk, a mid-morning snack of nectarine, a lunch of salad greens, balsamic vineagrette, with an avocado. For dinner, I made vegan lasagna (almost, you'll see why, read the next post). I had grapes and an apple as a snack. In the afternoon, I also had a coffee with soy milk and sugar free cinnamon dolce (Starbucks, which I hate, but I forgot to bring almond milk to store at work).
I started talking to other people at work about this challenge. The conversation quickly turned into one about diet and exercise. I'm not doing this to lose weight, but that would be cool. The vegan challenge is coinciding with a limiting of sugar intake, an elimination of processed foods, and I'm also listening to my body in terms of signs of hunger. That may altogether cause a weight loss. However, I'm focused on feeling less tired and feeling good about holding up my end of the bargain as a human being allowed to walk this earth and breathe the air, and enjoy my natural surroundings. I shouldn't take so much. I shouldn't use technology to alter the foods I eat, and I shouldn't kill. The killing (while indirect) is something I struggle with, because I have so many leather items (bags and shoes) and I also struggle with the attachment to things. But one step at a time. Building consciousness and accountability takes time.
